


Hardly Fair

by LexaWard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, I really like the idea that these idiots pine after each other ages and then something happens, M/M, PWP, Pining, Prank Wars, i had fun with this one, look - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:10:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexaWard/pseuds/LexaWard
Summary: Jester's prank backfires (or backwaters) on her and it leaves a poor, horny Mollymauk to deal with the whiplash of seeing a happy Mr.Caleb soaked through. However is he meant to cope? It's just not fair!





	Hardly Fair

**Author's Note:**

> I'm?! Posting Twice???? IN ONE WEEK??? 
> 
> Listen, as someone who loves to write but normally can't find the drive, this goes to show how much I love critical role and this ship. 
> 
> Also Liam responded to a fanart earlier about Prank Wars and how he much he missed it from S1 and honestly, same. I hope I've done justice for the soul twins.

This was hardly fair. Mollymauk was sitting here completely innocently minding his own damn business when Caleb had come sprinting down the stairs, completely soaked, followed by an amused but angry Jester. Also soaked.  
“Caleb, I will kill you and make it look like an accident!” The man laughed, an absolutely beautiful laugh, and ran out of the front door to the inn quickly followed by Jester.  
“What the fuck was that?” Fjord asked standing and following. Mollymauk stood too but first he had the shake his heart eyes at seeing the white of Caleb’s linen shirt cling to his torso, his hair pulled back and to top it all off he’d not only been smiling but practically hysterical with glee.

Mollymauk hadn’t seen that look before and by gods he wanted to know how to make him smile like that again. Following Molly watched Fjord go after them into an alleyway and reaching the opening he saw Caleb and Jester in a stand-off while Fjord tried to get between them.  
“It is not my fault you wanted to fight fire with fire.” Caleb grinned to himself,  
“Or water.” He bore grinning teeth as Jester stomped her squelchy foot.  
“You ruined my dress!” She said as though annoyed but she was still smiling unable to hide her own joy.  
“You asked for it!” He challenged and Fjord put his hands up,  
“Now hold onto your boots. Just what happened?” He asked looking between them like a weary parent and Molly moved forward because of course he was invested. Plus, wet Caleb.  
“Caleb was ignoring me so I was like oh I’ll play a little prank on him.” He was already speaking over her,  
“Except I knew she would do that so I got her first. Or well, at the same time she got me actually.” He conceded.  
“Yeah! But pranks are MY thing! You can’t just steal my thing.” She said her trumpet sleeves slapping wetly against her sides.  
“I can and I will.” He said petulantly and, oh, Molly’s heart couldn’t handle this. It was like he was 10 years younger and right now they might actually be seeing a side of Caleb he hadn’t shown in years. 

“Anyone can play a prank, Jester. It’s up to you whether you can take it or not.” Fjord tried to placate and Molly moved forward,  
“A very fair point.” Molly said while he took a solid moment to just appreciate how beautiful a clean shaven and wet Caleb looked.  
“I get how Jester made the water but how did you?” Fjord asked out of pure curiosity really.  
“I can make water, Fe-Yor-ud” She sounded out his name in impatience and Caleb laughed,  
“Ja, I used her water. Animate water.” He grinned as he wiggled his fingers and she huffed,  
“Oh, so you stole my prank and my water. _Rood_.” Caleb had the audacity to wink at her and she started laughing against her will. Molly’s tail flicked violently in the air because what water did _he_ have to steal to get a wink.  
“Perhaps you should come back inside, dears, you might catch your death of cold.” Molly said gently, his inner mother hen coming out. Caleb looked at Molly with his damn near blinding smile and nodded with a fake stern voice,  
“Oh ja, confined to my room while we’re stuck in this town. What a pity.” He said jokingly and Mollymauk laughed ushering them both over.  
“Won’t do to have either of you sick.” He said and Jester shuffled over her shoes squelching in the dirt.  
“I can heal myself and Caleb can _sufffeeerrrr_.” Jester fake threatened and Fjord rolled his eyes with a smile.  
“You’d never let Caleb suffer and you know it. If you did we’d all make you feel guilty anyway.” He said and she huffed lightly.  
“I already suffer, what is a few days in bed.” Caleb shrugged too light for his words but that was just his Brand. Molly slung his arm around the man’s neck immediately regretting it because he was, in fact, drenched head to toe.   
“I’d join you Mister Caleb, keep you company.” He offered to an answering smile.  
“Oooo Molly in what way?” Jester asked suggestively and laughed.   
“Anything he liked dear.” He said winking at the man who blushed and looked away, smiling to himself as they re-entered the inn.  
“Come on, upstairs, both of you. Out of those clothes.” He said herding them over in that direction.   
“Fjord you could help me pick an outfit out if you liked?” Jester asked in a cutesy voice and the half-orc turned a mighty shade of dark green as he marched back over to the table he’d been at.  
“I have terrible fashion sense!” He said awkwardly avoiding eye contact.  
”Perhaps another time, dear. Come on up with you.” He said pulling Jester and pushing Caleb who were now beginning to regret the water fight.   
“Um actually, Molly my corsets going to be a nightmare to get off, can you help?” She asked a little more tentatively.  
“Of course. Will you need anything, love?” He asked turning to Caleb who blinked at him for a moment,  
“I will be fine getting out of everything but do you have a towel and a shirt I could borrow, please?” He asked and Molly smiled.  
“Course. Lemme sort Jess out and I’ll be right over.” 

They separated into the two rooms and Molly got to work on Jester’s corset the laces being absolute bastards when wet. She started drying herself and changed into something equally as cute while Molly grabbed a spare white linen blouse from his collection and a thick towel he had. He opened the door without knocking and perhaps he should have because he got a good eyeful of dick. In a panic he threw the terrycloth at Caleb who caught it haphazardly and wrapped it around his waist.  
“You’ve seen my dick before Mollymauk.” He said bemused as he turned around and then started to rub his body down.  
“I haven’t to be fair. You always wear disguises when we bathe together. You give Beau my dick all the time but, oh no, I’m not even allowed to see yours.” Molly joked, calming himself down with a bit of a ramble and throwing the blouse down on the bed before sitting down next to it.  
“Huh. I guess so.” He said pensively and then added,  
“Do you mind? That I use you for Beau’s polymorph. I can stop...I’ve only seen one dude’s tiefling so...” he chuckled,  
“One person’s tiefling penis.” He corrected as Mollymauk actually guffawed. They giggled heartily for a few minutes as Molly got out in short breaths that,  
“No. Darling! Please. It’s a compliment. If anything, I enjoy that you’ve paid such specific attention to my dick.” He said through smiles and Caleb blushed as he started to dry himself and get dressed again.  
“It’s always purple. Wouldn’t look right in red. In my opinion.” He said turning away from Molly as the other’s tail coiled a little from the sudden thu-thump his heart decided to do. Honestly he was tripping over someone – Caleb – complimenting the colour of his cock and he blushed looking away from Caleb’s back because if he wasn’t careful it would become abundantly clear that he was head over tail for this wizard.

Caleb started rubbing the towel through his wet hair.  
“Do you need a comb?” Molly asked pulling out one from his pocket. Caleb gave a short laugh,  
“I haven’t combed my hair in 14 years. I will be fine.” He assured running his hand through his damp but not dripping hair and pulling out the tangles. Molly cocked his head and quirked an eyebrow.  
“Is that why it always looks like a birds nest?” Caleb turned around with a sceptical look.  
“I thought you liked my hobo style?” He accused teasingly. Mollymauk moved forward and manhandled Caleb to sit down at his desk, he went pliantly and pulled the towel to sit around his neck like a scarf.  
“It’s absolutely fine, my dear, imagine though; free flowing waves with no knots!” He twiddled the metal comb in his fingers in front of Caleb’s face. There was a pause as the wizard stared at the comb and then back up over his shoulder at Mollymauk who smiled down at him. Putting his hands on the desk in front he tilted his head back,  
“Fine, do what you will.” He said it with an air of confidence that was betrayed entirely by the smile he was trying and failing to keep hidden. 

Endeared beyond reason Mollymauk lifted his hand and stroked it through the damp locks of dark red hair before flipping the comb round in his hand to the handle and gently combing out Caleb’s hair. Holding the hair close to the roots so he didn’t hurt by pulling too hard as he hacked at some of the tougher knots. He teased the hair out scratching lightly against Caleb’s scalp and the man sighed, his shoulders relaxing. Mollymauk tried to focus, he really did, but he had free rein and simply couldn’t help his hands wondering, easily moving from pulling knots apart into straight up massaging Caleb’s head. The comb forgotten by both of them in the tangles of his damp hair Caleb’s eyes closed and he let out a small sigh of contentment while he relaxed into Molly’s hands.  
“I thi-” Caleb tried to start but had to cough a little to clear his dry throat.  
“I would comb my hair more often with your hands.” He said his voice thick and he swallowed to compensate. How easy it would be, to pull Caleb backwards and lean down and kiss him…

_Hardly fair_ , Mollymauk thought as he moved and picked the comb back up untangling it from Caleb’s hair and brushing out the rest of the tangles and knots. Caleb seemed to remember himself then, sitting up a little straighter and opening his eyes to stare at his hands awkwardly. Molly watched the strands fall through his fingers,  
“Anytime, dear.” He said softly.  
“Perhaps, um,” Caleb coughed to clear his throat again,  
“I could for you. Sometime. If you wanted.” He said jumping about in his nerves his thumb scratching at his finger mindlessly.  
“Well of course, you owe me now and we both know how much you hate debts.” Molly tapped him on the head with the comb and when Caleb reflexively looked up at him he stuck his tongue out and winked. Very suddenly Caleb stood, the chair screeching back on the wooden floor and he and Molly were chest to chest.

Both of them realised how close they were and neither of them moved.

_Kaum fair,_ Caleb thought staring at Mollymauk’s red eyes that blinked at him the gold of his eye shadow contrasting so wonderfully with his lavender skin. It would be so easy to kiss him, just lean forward that was all. Yet asking felt so terrifying, his heart which was already beating so hard by being so close couldn’t cope with the added fear layering itself on top of that. He licked his lips and Molly’s eyes darted down to the movement both of them taking measured breaths in the closed space. With absolutely no reason to be this close with the room so big it would make sense to move away. Caleb closed his eyes and tilted his head just a little. Enough that Mollymauk could do as he wanted but just a slight tilt so that Caleb could play it off if he needed.

It was an invitation.

A question lingering in the small space between them.

Molly stared at Caleb, _Gods above, is he really?_ He moved forward an inch his eyes closing in pure fear as he felt how close they were. His lips parted minutely and with it a small shuddered breath escaped brushing across Caleb’s own lips, frozen in place, he opened his eyes a little and seeing Molly’s closed inches from him he opened them fully and in a moment of pure impulse thought _fick diese_ and surged forward and up against Molly’s lips. Shocked that they were kissing both of their sets of eyes opened widely staring at each other while they pressed their lips to each other neither one of them able to move for fear of ruining it.

Realising that it was actually happening, that _holy shit, I’m kissing Caleb!_ Mollymauk’s entire body felt like it had been training for this moment as it fell into subconscious autonomy and his one hand moved to his hip just testing the water while the other stroked lightly up his arm until eventually settling in the crook where Caleb’s shoulder became his neck – he didn’t know where the comb had gone and he didn’t care at this point if he was honest. It was as if a switch had been flipped and the frozen shock of a wizard who’d startled himself became a sudden warmth as he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Molly’s neck angling their heads for a better, deeper kiss. Both of them moaned with the new angle and Caleb, coming in with another bold move, swiped his tongue across Molly’s lip whimpering a little when he ran it across one of his fangs. His knees buckled a little pressing himself further into Molly who pushed him back against the desk to steady them which only furthered to push them together and they both groaned opening their mouths for tongue and teeth as their clothed hardening cocks pushed against each other too.

Tightening his hold Caleb’s hand slipped through Molly’s hair gripped a little and Molly pushed him further against the desk because _holy fuck,  
“_Yes, pull my hair!” Molly moaned into Caleb’s mouth catching a quick breath as he moved back in for another kiss. Caleb, wonderful, clever, amazing Caleb did as he was told and clenched his fist and pulled Molly’s hair enough so that he could feel it but not enough that they had to move apart. Molly fucking melted forward against Caleb caused the other to blindly put a hand out backwards so he didn’t slam into the wall behind them. Caleb’s hand didn’t leave Molly’s hair but it didn’t pull as hard again, instead he started teasing Molly’s curls out running his hand through the tighter locks adding pressing every now and again sending sparks of pleasure down Molly’s spine who in turn moaned and whined into his mouth.

Eventually they split apart breathing heavily and not going very far from one another they stared at each other unblinking.  
“Fuck.” Molly breathed his eyes flicking down to Caleb’s mouth.  
“Ja.” Caleb swallowed licking his lips. Gripping the back of Molly’s head he pulled him again for another kiss and fuck it if Molly wasn’t going to come easily. Caleb being almost entirely sat on the desk now lifted his leg to curl around the back Molly’s his knee bumping into the underside of the base of Molly’s tail and both of them clutched onto each other tighter moaning and groaning as they were both getting hard just from rubbing against each other and kissing the ever-loving-fuck out of each other. One particular grind of Molly’s hips caused a button of Caleb’s trousers to catch the head of his cock and he tossed his head back from the friction breaking the kiss,  
“Fuck! Mollymauk!” Not missing a beat, Molly’s lips went to his neck and he started kissing and sucking against the skin there causing Caleb to go fucking wild as he undulated his hips with high short gasps. Caleb’s other leg wrapped around Molly’s waist and his legs hooked around each other anchoring him securely. Molly took his hand from Caleb’s waist and put it on the desk to give him more stability as he essentially tried to fuck Caleb fully clothed into the desk. With the added strength of Molly’s hand, Caleb wrapped both arms around Molly’s neck and pulled himself up into another kiss as he rubbed himself with abandon against Molly.

With the quick rutting coupled with wondering hands and lips it didn’t take long for them to get to a point of desperate need. Where Caleb was pushed up on the desk his back pressed at an angle to the wall, Molly was hunched over him tightly gripping Caleb’s back and arse pulling him in closer as he pushed his hips hard against him. It was an awkward uncomfortable angle but they weren’t complaining as they focused on the rush and pleasure of each other’s bodies. Molly’s lips found Caleb’s neck again as he was quickly discovering how much the wizard enjoyed teeth.

It wasn’t _enough_ though.

Caleb pulled on Molly’s hair to bring him back a bit and Molly groaned his head falling forward as he whined while Caleb manhandled him. They both stared at each other with lips plump looking kiss drunk.  
“Ok. Wait.” Caleb breathed heavily and swallowed as Mollymauk’s hands stroked down his sides.  
“Yeah. For how long?” He asked his thumbs stroking circles into Caleb’s hips who shuddered in his grasp.  
“Clothes off. Bed. Ja?” Caleb nodded licking his lips and the devil in Molly beamed.  
“Genius!” Kissing him quickly Molly pushed back and started grabbing at his clothes Caleb following quickly and ripping at his own shirt.

Mollymauk was normally good at getting his thigh highs off but he’d never been quite so eager to get them off. Suddenly they became almost impossible to get out of. He only gave up when he heard Caleb giggling while he was laying back on the bed with his legs awkwardly bent in the air as he pulled at one of the boots from the bottom struggling to wrench it off. Caleb, though, looked amazing completely naked with a soft smile creased onto his face while his shoulders shook,  
“Would you like some help?” He asked between laughs.  
“Please.” Molly smiled and lifted his leg as Caleb moved forward so the bottom of his boot pressed against Caleb’s stomach.  
“I do not have a foot fetish, if you must know.” Caleb said pulling off the boots off efficiently while Molly wiggled on the bed putting his hands behind his head. Finally all that was between Caleb and paradise was Molly’s tight leggings.  
“How do these things conceal your cock so well?” Caleb asked pulling Molly’s knees apart and rubbing his hands firmly up the insides of the others thighs. There was definitely something excited but it was more a bulge than an outlined hard cock.  
“Open them, find out.” Molly challenged and bit his lip as his tail slipped around Caleb’s waist and pulled him forward. Caleb fell forward catching himself on his hands planting them either side of Mollymauk’s horns as he grinned down at the other.  
“Or I could ruin them instead.” He threatened and kissed at Molly’s lips. Before Molly could answer he ground his bare hips down and Molly whimpered against Caleb’s mouth.

Tongue, tail, teeth, hands and legs where all pushed and pressed together wrapping around anything they could grab a hold of as they both rushed to their finish desperate for each other. Mollymauk frustrated with the lack of friction he was getting managed to get a hand between them push his leggings down just enough and pull his now fully hard cock free. The moment their cocks touched for the first time both groaned into each other’s mouths panting harshly as Molly wrapped a hand around them both and started to pull. Writhing against each other and as highly strung as they were neither of them were going to last. Caleb came first grunting and pressing his head into the other’s neck as his arms struggled to keep him from crashing into Molly completely. The rush of relief flooded him and he moaned helplessly as Mollymauk sped up and his wrist twisted _just so_ , so he could come as well.

Caleb rolled off of him knocking his horn as he did and landed with a thud on the bed both of them staring at the ceiling.  
“Ow.” Caleb said monotonously after a moment and Mollymauk started laughing a little hysterically. Caleb joined unable to help himself as they both giggled harshly while their chests pushed in and out with effort.  
“That was a long time coming.” Molly said smiling and letting his eyes shut.  
“No offense but we came pretty quickly, I think.” Caleb responded joyously and Molly’s laughter erupted again so he sat up to grab a cloth for them both.  
“You’re cute, you know.” Molly said kicking off his soiled leggings and wiping his chest with the rag.  
“I beg to differ, you are far cuter.” Caleb jibed as Mollymauk turned the rag over and cleaned their come off of Caleb’s chest as well.  
“Well now, hang on, I didn’t say you were cuter than me, I just think you _are_ cute.” He winked and Caleb sat up cupping Molly’s chin.  
“Oh really. Did you know you’re beautiful as well?” He kissed Molly gently on the lips, a peck really.  
“As a matter of fact, yes, I did.” Molly tried to stay cheeky but it was far less convincing when he chasing Caleb’s lips for another kiss which was granted easily.  
“How about…intelligent;” Caleb pressed another kiss to Molly’s wanting lips a little harder this time,    
“extraordinary;” Another kiss and he licked at Molly’s lips who grabbed his shoulders and threw a leg over to straddle his lap. Caleb used both hands to pull Molly’s face close,  
“ _Sexy._ ” His voice dropped and Molly whined his stomach dropping as they both crashed together in an open mouth kissed, tongues pushing together.  
“Don’t stop.” Molly breathed his eye’s fluttering as Caleb’s hands started roaming along his tattoo. He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to Molly’s chin and then his neck where the peacock feathers started.  
“It has been hardly fair, to look at you and not be able to touch.” He lamented with mock pity for himself as he stroked his fingernails down the column of Molly’s throat making him gasp.  
“ _I know._ Fuck Caleb! I’ve wanted you for _months_!” Molly shuddered out as his hands held onto Caleb’s shoulders while the man explored his body and tore him apart with each gentle stroke of his hands. Caleb let out a long breath against Molly’s neck,  
“We’ve wasted too much time.” He said and then started licking and sucking at Molly’s neck who in turn moaned and pressed against him closer.  
“Fuck, no more-ore, Holy-I for-forbid it.” Molly struggled out as his tail lashed wildly behind him. They were so close and Molly couldn’t help his hips from rolling down.

Caleb hissed and pulled away,  
“Sorry, too soon.” He said frowning at himself and Molly was nodding blinking hard to try and focus,  
“Okay, that’s fine. Don’t worry. Fuck, I should get off.” He said not moving an inch.  
“Nein…” Caleb’s hands tightened on him instinctively.  
“I like you like this.” One hand stroked up from it’s position on Molly’s hip and then back down. Every caress felt like being someone precious, to be cared for and looked after. Mollymauk had been with many people and not many of them had treated him like and none of them were Caleb. He’d only been pining for the man since they’d met and now. Together, here, _Together_.  
“I like us, like this.” Molly smiled pressing his forehead against Caleb’s and closing his eyes breathing him in. It was a good moment,  
“me too.” Came a quiet reply as both of Caleb’s hands settled on Molly’s hips.  
“Do you want to just, cuddle, for a bit?” Molly asked opening his eyes to see Caleb smile up at him and _oh that’s hardly fair at all_ as all his walls were broken down almost instantly by the small up curve and wide eyed hope of his absolutely favourite wizard.  
“Ja. Ok.” He nodded and they rearranged themselves under the beds blanket arms wrapped around each other. Caleb settled onto his back and Molly put his head on Caleb’s shoulder his horn pressing into the pillow next to Caleb’s head. Pot marked arms wrapped around his torso underneath his arms as Molly put one peacock arm underneath the pillow as his other slid around Caleb’s chest. Caleb’s lips pressed against his crown and Molly’s tail slipped around and curled around Caleb’s ankle as their legs twined around one another.

They fell asleep like that curled into each other and were definitely discovered later by one of the Nein disrupting their nap which led to the rest of the team finding out almost immediately. Neither of them cared, this was something new they wanted to explore and neither of them could be bothered with formality, they’d much rather have the others know that they’re sneaking off to have sex instead of letting them thinking they were conspiring against nefariously or something. It didn’t matter. Most things are hardly fair but some things like a disaster wizard and a horny amnesiac being exasperatingly in love with each other seems to be more than fair.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright I'll admit it;   
> Do I think it's bad writing to write a super cheesy line as your closing sentence? Maybe. 
> 
> Will that stop me? Absolutely fucking not.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!!


End file.
